nocturnal mind

the quiet of home
punctuated by the self-starting
fridge and the self-adjusting central air
descends on the mind
juggling all the untied decisions:
a slide show of possible
outcomes not all that palatable
to sleep-deprived slumber

outside,
the night's black breath had snuffed
out the few lonely wicks that were just
an hour ago dragging day into night
behind grimy apartment windows...

at the hour when silence sleeps
the domestic smells that get inside
hung up t-shirts
car upholstery
kitchen counters and
bathroom mats
roam the air like they own it

to know that smell is to have been
in it long
no bachelor pad smells like this

choking in the stranglehold of filial
obligation while nestling in the cocoon
of hatched vows
a few different options are borne
to nocturnal minds

it's easier to make open ends meet
strike out on your own
rediscover the self in all its naked glory
abating all the crutches you've gathered
over the years. . .

push that months-old tease game you've
played with that intern to another
level and offer a crash course on all fours
over the conference oak. . .

revitalize yourself
put a conservative sell limit
on that volatile stock. . .

patio chimes rustle asynchronously
to the organ symphony of throat
and nostrils around

you sigh
a muted exasperation

truth is the flaw
in self-awareness